The Ever Evolving Me.

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” -Buddha

The past 18 months have been interesting. They have been all about self discovery; finding myself, finding what I want, what makes me happy, who makes me happy and most importantly…how to be happy with myself.

Mind you, I was not usually a person to put myself first and I didn’t purposely set out on this mission, it just sort of found me. I suppose it comes with the territory when you decide enough is enough and actually do something about being overweight and unhappy.

I was forced to face feelings that I didn’t want to, some of which I have written about here  before. I had to look at relationships and see them for what they really were and most importantly, realize that no one but ME could make the changes that needed to be made. I was going to be the one who needed to find new ways of dealing with the feelings and the thought process that made me turn to food and laying on the couch in order to cope, right?

The roller coaster of emotions I experienced made me feel like I was going crazy at times. The pressure I put on myself to stick to my goals was crushing. I held/hold myself to a very high standard and quite honestly I am thankful I do or I may not have made it as far as I have.

Relationships were tested and not all survived, but those that did came out stronger than ever and I have a renewed view on them. As for the ones that didn’t, they all taught me something and left me with some great memories.

Lessons were learned as well. I was introduced to failure but didn’t let it get the best of me. I picked myself, dusted myself off and found an alternative path to my goal. Adapting is an important part of the learning process….trust me on this one.

The funny thing about this journey is how it keeps changing. Every time I think I have  figured something out about myself things shift, perspective changes, someone new enters my life and sheds a new way of thinking on my situation. It amazes me how much I have grown over these past months and how I wouldn’t even recognize my old self if we were in a room together.

The old me never would have imagined I would be where I am today. I would have never dreamed I would be helping and motivating other people to reach their fitness goals, recommending workout programs to get them started or encouraging and pushing them to reach their next level. It’s been an amazing experience and I am truly happy that I have taken the steps I have. I have a new confidence in myself that I never had before.

I can honestly sit here as I write this and say that I can’t wait to see what tomorrow holds. You never know who you may meet, what new lesson you may learn or what path your life may take next. All you can do is enjoy each moment as it is presented to you. Take the good with the bad and be thankful for the chance to make the best of it.

“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” -Pema Chodron

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