Many months ago when I started this journey and decided to once and for all take control of my weight…and my life…I didn’t quite realize just how much weight I needed to lose. I never sat down and said “I want to lose ___ amount of pounds.” I didn’t weigh myself constantly hoping to drop weight quick or look for any quick fix “magic pills” like I did in the past. I just decided to make healthier choices with my diet and become more active.
As the weeks went by, I saw results, felt better and made more changes. I fell in love with exercise and realized I could cope with thoughts and feelings without a bag of cookies or pint of ice cream. I realized that I was a strong person who was capable of more than I could have ever imagined. I was proud of ME. I was driven and no one was going to stop me from reaching my dream of finally being in shape.
Fast forward to when I completed INSANITY…I stepped on the scale and realized I was very close to a monumental weight loss number. It had never really dawned on me before that I had lost THAT much weight but I also never realized I needed to lose THAT much weight.
I thought I had reached my all time high weight while pregnant with my daughter (240+ lbs – only around 10lbs gained while pregnant) but to my horror and surprise I found photos from before and I looked much heavier. (I was never a fan of the scale and have always struggled with my weight so just how much I have lost will remain a mystery)
Well, the other day I weighed myself and I reached that major milestone. I’ve lost 101 pounds since that all time high weight! (Probably more since realizing that wasn’t my all time high…eek)
It has not all been done on this journey (I had lost 20lbs over a few years before fully committing). It has not been because of a diet program or with any “magic pills” (although P90X, ChaLEAN Extreme and Insanity have all played a large roll). I has been done over the course of years in a gradual way until I made that decision to take control. I reached this milestone with hard work, sweat and plenty of tears. It may have taken me years to do, but it has been done and that feeling is priceless.
While sitting and looking at old photos of myself I cried. They were tears of joy that I was no longer trapped in that body, unhappy and unwilling to make the changes I needed to make. They were also tears of sadness, because I wasted so many years of my life being miserable and unhappy when I had the power to change myself long ago.
Overall, it was a surreal moment. I didn’t jump up and down and shout it from the roof tops. (Heck, it took me three days to decide to even blog about it). I felt a range of emotions, but mostly…….I felt empowered.
**A special thanks to everyone who has believed in me and helped me along the way. XOXO