I’m Still Alive!

still_aliveWow…it’s been a hot minute since I’ve sat down and shared anything here.

In one of my previous posts I mentioned that life threw our family some curveballs last year. My father-in-law, who lived with us, passed away last January and things began to go downhill for me while he was in the hospital. From no time to workout, to stress, to meals from vending machines and people bringing up bagels, sandwiches and others foods I didn’t normally eat, the weight began to creep on. After the funeral, things just felt weird. The bad eating became a habit and that habit left me feeling unmotivated and tired. ALL. THE. TIME. I would say “that’s it, it’s time to get back to basics” and begin a program only to fall off the wagon after a week. Sigh…

Team all of that up with my son’s anxiety hitting an all time high (if you follow me on Instagram you already know a little about this) I had to stop working and begin doing homeschool with him because it was so bad he couldn’t go to school. Talk about stress and the perfect excuse to say “fuck it” right?!

Yeah…I totally called bullshit on myself there. If you know me, you know I don’t sugar coat anything…even when it comes to myself. I believe the only way to be successful at changing your habits is to acknowledge that they are fucked up to begin with. You can’t blame anyone for your problems. Yes, they may create them and sometimes you have no control over what happens in life, but you ALWAYS have control over how you handle and react to them.

Last May I turned 40 and as a gift, my good friend signed us up for the Hershey Half Marathon. I know, you’re probably thinking, “Why does your friend hate you?” but she knew it was something I’ve been wanting to do and she herself had completed her first half marathon a few months before so we thought let’s do it together. Training for it actually helped me to get back on track and I began to enjoy running again…until it got hot out. That’s when I began to hate it and questioned the decisions I make in life. Our race was in October and thanks to my amazing luck, I injured my foot and was not able to run it. I contemplated walking the 13.1 since I’m a fast walker, but we were leaving for Disney the following weekend and I didn’t want to hurt myself any further before the trip. Instead, we still went to Hershey and had a fun friends weekend, which was pretty damn awesome.

Of course I used my injury as an excuse for the next few months. I started my on again off again relationship with workouts and meal prep but thankfully I didn’t gain more weight. This continued until just recently when I started walking and doing some turtle running along with some meal prep and home workouts, but something still didn’t feel right. There was no real motivation and I found myself coming up with reasons why I could put my workout off… or I just wouldn’t put any true effort into them. I was just going through the motions and let’s be honest, theres no point in doing that at all.

About 6 weeks ago I started working again and I made the decision to join the gym. Gasp! I know… I said I joined the gym. I couldn’t even bring myself to go into the gym to join, I did it on-line! Talk about lame, right?! But I’ve been going and I found a gym lover to help me get over my fears and feel comfortable there, which has been awesome! I even made the decision to give Keto a try, so it’s been an interesting week of fasting and learning how to not eat carbs and embrace fat as my main food source.

Soooooo…. I know that was long and if you’ve gotten this far, thank you for actually caring enough to read. I’m hoping to share more of my gym journey here as well as some of the Keto recipes I find try so I won’t be such a blog slacker anymore.

Have you ever fell into a fitness rut? If so, I would love to hear about how you were able to overcome it and find motivation again!

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Filed under Fitness Inspiration, Health & Fitness, My Ramblings

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