She is the dark inner voice in my head who likes to give me a hard time and make me second guess myself.
She shows herself in fitting rooms (you look fat), during workouts (you can’t lift that heavy), while looking for food to eat (Mmmmm Poptarts!) and when I’m hitting the pavement trying to get a hang of this running thing (Why are you doing this? Just walk, it’s easier and your still moving).
She is a BITCH.
I truly hate Nega Nikki and I battle everyday to shut her up. The constant inner dialog I have with her might amuse some, but to me, it is very draining and sometimes discouraging that I have worked this hard and still have battles like this.
My goal is to rid myself of Nega Nikki once and for all. I am tired of looking in the mirror and sometimes still seeing the “fat girl” I worked hard to say goodbye to. I am tired of hearing that nagging voice of sabotage, telling me I can’t run faster or further. That inner doubt that holds me back from taking a sparring class like I really want to try.
I’m tired, frustrated and at the end of my rope with her. If you ever hear me in a funk or letting her get the best of me…please…smack me. Sometimes I don’t realize that she has gained the upper hand.
We all have our Nega Nikki’s and I believe it is up to us to shut them up. We have a choice…we can listen to their negative, venomous, self doubting thoughts and stop fighting the good fight (you know…cause we don’t have enough actual people to do that to us)…OR…we can use those thoughts to give us the strength to push and fight harder.
The choice is yours….what will you do?