Tag Archives: Self Acceptance

Find Yourself and Be That

find yourself

This is something I’ve really been working on this year.

Filtering out the noise of who you should be vs who you are, is not an easy task. It can take time to figure it all out, but when you do, you’ll be 100% you and you shouldn’t change that for anyone.

You’ll attract your tribe, find happiness within yourself and if you suffer from anxiety…well…that’ll ease up too, because you won’t be worried about others accepting you. You’ll accept yourself and all your weirdness and no one else opinion will matter anymore.

  • Try new things.
  • Go on adventures.
  • Meet new people.
  • Read new books.
  • Learn something new.

Do what inspires you and figure out what makes you happy! It’s time you live the life you were meant to live, without the fear of disappointing others.

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Holy Sh!t…I’m A Student Again!

Back to School

I think it was two years ago that I wrote about my New Years resolution to become a Certified Personal Trainer. That’s as far as I got with that resolution because I became overwhelmed with all of the school options and the different costs involved. I felt like a failure for not going through with it, but I didn’t want to do it, just to do it.

Earlier this year when I found out my job was no longer stable, I began visiting local gyms to speak with the personal trainers they had on staff, as well as the gym managers. I asked questions about the gyms, how long they’ve been training and most importantly, what certifications they accepted and recommended. Each gym had a list of certifications that they spoke about, complete with pro’s and cons, but one came up at each and every one as the “top notch” to have. That certification was NASM (National Academy of Sports Medicine) which was also one of the more expensive ones and now it made sense why. I tucked all of that information off into a little corner of my brain labeled “some day” and I moved on.

A few months later, a good friend of ours brought up the topic of me getting my certification and they recommended NASM. When we mentioned the money aspect of it they pointed out that there is a payment option and the wheels in my head began turning again. I wanted to sign-up for the classes but a new issue came up…that issue was fear. I was scared of failing, scared of working in a gym (I mean, I don’t even have a gym membership because of my group fitness phobia) and the thought of starting over in a new field of work just scared the shit out me, so once again, I filed the thought of getting certified under “some day”.

A few months ago, I began working on personal development and I made a dream board. The  dream board included all the things I’d like to do during the course of my life, so it included things like places I plan on traveling to, my dream home and personal goals for myself. I believe that making these boards gives you a visual reminder of what you are striving for in life and turns those “dreams” into goals because they are now on paper (or in this case a giant piece of foam board). One of the things I put on there was a NASM certificate. I even added my name and a completion date to that image and then glued it into place, without really thinking about it anymore.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been questioned by multiple people as to why I have not gone for certification yet and I never had a good answer to that question. Yes, there was the money issue, but that excuse was taken away from me with the payment options. Then there was the fear issue, but that’s really not a valid excuse to not do something. I know that amazing things happen when you leave your comfort zone, because I’ve been traveling outside of mine for 4 years already. So what the hell is my problem?

Well, the universe seems to have a plan for me…and I can’t keep ignoring it, even if I’m scared. My family gave me the shove I needed by showing nothing but support and I received an early Christmas present to get me going on the path I’ve been running away from like a coward.

Yup…that’s right! I’m officially enrolled in NASM’s Certified Personal Trainer course. Starting next Monday, I’m officially a student again! While I’m terrified of developing study habits and taking quizzes, I’m so grateful for the support of my family and friends who have seen that I can do this, even though I’m still struggling to believe.

Yesterday, I found myself looking at my dream board closely and I’m shocked at how many things on there I’m close to achieving. I may not be traveling the world or in my dream house, but I will be…it’s just a matter of time!

Do you have a dream board? If so, what kind of things do you have one it?

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September is National Yoga Month!

AthletaYoga

Leave it to me to run a 30 Day Yoga Challenge the month BEFORE National Yoga Month. I’m going to view it as being a trend setter. Maybe being a bit ahead of myself? Okay…okay…I don’t pay enough attention to these National “_____” Day lists, lesson learned!

Thankfully the wonderful folks over at Athleta sent me an e-mail sharing a series they have put together with YogaGlo, which starts today! They’ll be offering a series of FREE on-line yoga classes beginning today, September 1st through the end of the month!

Anyone can enjoy the classes by visiting www.Athleta.com/YogaMonth and pick from the 3 practice levels available:

– Level 1 class to kick start your day
– Level 2 class for recovery after a busy day
– Level 3 class designed as cross-training for athletes

Additionally Athleta will be hosting special events at both the Upper East Side and Upper West Side stores throughout the month! Please visit www.Athleta.com/Stores for details on events and free classes happening at both stores as well as the other NY locations in Scarsdale and Manhasset.

If you participated and enjoyed the 30-Day Yoga Challenge I hosted over on my Facebook Page in August, or missed that but wanted to try a month of yoga, I definitely recommend checking this out. I love that they are offering three different levels of yoga to fit your needs, as well as special in-store events!

Also, I’ll be running a Couch to 5K Accountability over on the Facebook page this month! If you have always wanted to try running but didn’t know where to start, now is the time to give it a shot and have a group to support you on your new journey. If you’re local to me, I’ll also be hosting a live group three times per week. Leave a comment or hop on over to my page to let me know you’d like to join. I’ll be posting more info this week as our start date will be September 9th!

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Keep Calm…Dammit!

Keep CalmIt’s been awhile since I’ve stepped on a scale. I’m pretty sure I’ve made it known that I don’t like the scale and it doesn’t tell an accurate story of what’s going on with your body.

I normally just use my measurements and how my clothes are fitting as a guide and I adjust things from there. Well, today I stepped on the body mass calculator, in order to log all of my numbers for the official start of the Focus T25 challenge group that I am running with a friend, and the number wasn’t pretty.

Now in the rational part of my brain, I know why there was such a jump in the number on the evil little piece of bathroom equipment, but the rational part of my brain was abruptly over thrown by the irrational part of my brain when I saw the number. I immediately began to freak out and wonder how this could be. I mean, yeah, I haven’t followed a program for a while and yes, I’ve been a slacker with running…but I’ve been okay with my eating and I have been active. Where did I go so wrong? How could my clothes still fit well if there was such a jump?

Then I took my measurements and laughed at myself. They are all the same except for my thighs…they went up quite a bit and I always had a flat booty but that is no longer the case since I started running and squatting. THAT is my answer right there. I have built a lot of muscle in my lower body over the past few months. Now I know not all of it is muscle, the time of day as well as the month plays a role in a woman’s weight and I know there is room for improvement with my diet, but once again, measurements told some key plot points to the story.

It’s scary how quickly the rational part of my brain shut down and how upset I got over a number on a scale. I believe part of it has to do with how I refuse to go back to were I came from. It’s actually a big fear of mine, so knowing I’ve been off my normal routine and not as good as I should be with nutrition, teamed up with a weight spike, freaked me the fuck out!

On the bright side, I feel a little clearer on my goals, know that my nutrition is key and I’m truly looking forward to getting to know those participating in the challenge and seeing what a full 60 days with this program can result in!

Have you ever experienced a moment like this? Where you know better but your emotions just take off and leave common sense behind?

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{Wordless Wednesday} Memorial Day Weekend

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Celebrating A Milestone

Yesterday was Fitness Friday and I reached a pretty big milestone! For the first time ever I hit double digits on a run/walk! The furthest I had ever walked prior, was 8 miles back in 2010. My furthest run was 7.5 back in early March.

I started out running yesterday and for some reason, I just kept going. Hitting that double digit has been something I’ve wanted to do for awhile now, but I never really went for it. I started to get tired and struggled for a little while around miles 4 & 5. That little voice of negativity in my head started to beat me up, but I pushed through and decided I was going for it. I shut that little voice up by deciding that my time didn’t matter today, all that mattered was hitting my mileage of choice.

Once I made up my mind, the rest was pretty easy. I slowed down and walked when I needed to and picked up the pace and ran when I felt good. I have to get my legs used to carrying me for longer runs and they’re not quite ready to do that yet. Until they are, there is nothing wrong with slowing down to a light jog or fast paced walk.

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I know that with determination, time and practice, I will be able to run the full 10 miles. My goal is actually 13.1 with a respectable pace, but I have to remember that it takes time to build up to that. I have to remove the self imposed pressure that I place on myself to perform at great levels. I have to learn how to celebrate my milestones, instead of getting mad that I didn’t reach them at a certain level, or by glancing over them to start working towards the next goal.

Over the past four years, I have skipped many celebrations and I regret that. I regret pushing myself towards the next goal instead of taking some time to reflect on where I came from and what I just achieved.

The beauty of this journey is that I am always learning…and as a result, I will continue to grow as a person.

Yesterday I put the Further in #FurtherFasterForever. Down the road I hope to add the Faster, but I have Forever to work at it and enjoy the celebrations as I go.

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Stop It! I Beg You!

Lately, I have become increasingly agitated by “fitness inspiration” photos people have been Pinning, Instagramming and Facebooking. They usually feature a stick thin woman or a woman who clearly trains for competition, with a motivational quote. I love most of the quotes on them, however both of these image types are not realistic goals. These photos might be a dream of yours, but most times, they are not a reality and will only set you up to fail and feel miserable about your body, despite whatever progress you may make. (Trust me…I have gone through this.)

Unsure of what I’m referring to? Here are a few examples:

Mixed Inspiration

These ladies have amazing bodies, but it’s not the norm.

Now, before you jump all over me and tell me that they are attainable with hard work, I am well aware of that. ANYTHING is possible, and I’m not knocking that. I’m simply speaking of the average overweight mom or woman who is obsessing over losing weight.

A typical woman works a desk job, has evening activities to attend with her children, a house to clean, laundry to do and is forced to grab fast food from time to time. That doesn’t mean that there is no time to workout….you make the time for that….however, the type of strict diet and workout routine needed to achieve the super fit, sculpted bodies in some of these photos is very hard to follow.

Using photos like these as motivation also makes it hard to appreciate the progress that you do make during your weight loss, because you’re always comparing yourself to something that isn’t the norm.

Do you know how many times I have had people message me saying they don’t understand why they are following a program and only losing a pound? They are genuinely upset by losing a pound when they should  be happy they are making progress, being active, eating healthier and not gaining. As a generation, it’s all about instant gratification and this is not the place for it.

This leads me to another pet peeve of mine, which I have seen all over Facebook since the new year.  Obscene diets and “miracle” pills. I’ve said it a million times, so what’s one more?

THEY DON’T WORK!

Just stop it! You didn’t gain the weight over night, therefore you shouldn’t expect to lose it overnight. There is no quick fix. There is no magic pill. Do you really think the super fit girl in the commercial simply popped a pill and woke up with those six pack abs and super perky ass? NO! She worked her ass off for it in the gym and ate super clean. If it was as simple as popping a pill, we wouldn’t have an obesity problem in this country.

Please….just stop with the fad diets, popping pills that claim to block fat and help you get fit and lean without exercise. I beg you! They are unhealthy and if you do have any success, you will just end up gaining it all back, plus some when you stop following the diet or taking the pills, not to mention the damage you can be doing to your body by following these plans.

The road to getting healthy is not an easy one, but it can be a rewarding one. I’ve been at this for over three years and I’ve battled a lot of demons (thanks in part to photos like the ones above), but I’ve learned so much. How to eat healthy, that it’s okay to have a cheat day, that my body is much stronger than my mind and when my mind shuts the fuck up…my body is capable of amazing things! The most important lesson is one I’m currently working on, and that’s to love myself. I’m learning to accept the flaws of my body, because they add character.

Yes, I had a tummy tuck and some people might view that as shallow, and that’s okay, because it doesn’t matter what they think. It’s what I needed to do in order to move on with my life and to finally say goodbye to the fat girl I spent so many years of my life being.

In closing, I ask you to simply to keep realistic goals when you start trying to lose weight. Take it slow, keep it real and know that’s okay to be human and make mistakes. It takes time to break bad habits and form new, good ones. Most importantly, take the time to appreciate all of the things you achieve!

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Fitspiration… Stop It! I Beg You!

Lately, I have become increasingly agitated by “fitness inspiration” or “fitspiration” photos people have been Pinning, Instagraming and Facebooking. They usually feature a stick thin woman or a woman who clearly trains for competition, with a motivational quote. I love most of the quotes on them, however both of these image types are not realistic goals. These photos might be a dream of yours, but most times, they are not a reality and will only set you up to fail and feel miserable about your body, despite whatever progress you may make. (Trust me…I have gone through this.)

Unsure of what I’m referring to? Here are a few examples:

Fitspiration Stop It I Beg You

These ladies have amazing bodies, but it’s not the norm.

Now, before you jump all over me and tell me that they are attainable with hard work, I am well aware of that. ANYTHING is possible, and I’m not knocking that. I’m simply speaking of the average overweight mom or woman who is obsessing over losing weight.

A typical woman works a desk job, has evening activities to attend with her children, a house to clean, laundry to do and is forced to grab fast food from time to time. That doesn’t mean that there is no time to workout….you make the time for that….however, the type of strict diet and workout routine needed to achieve the super fit, sculpted bodies in some of these photos is very hard to follow.

Using photos like these as motivation also makes it hard to appreciate the progress that you do make during your weight loss, because you’re always comparing yourself to something that isn’t the norm.

Do you know how many times I have had people message me saying they don’t understand why they are following a program and only losing a pound? They are genuinely upset by losing a pound when they should  be happy they are making progress, being active, eating healthier and not gaining. As a generation, it’s all about instant gratification and this is not the place for it.

This leads me to another pet peeve of mine, which I have seen all over Facebook since the new year.  Obscene diets and “miracle” pills. I’ve said it a million times, so what’s one more?

THEY DON’T WORK!

Just stop it! You didn’t gain the weight over night, therefore you shouldn’t expect to lose it overnight. There is no quick fix. There is no magic pill. Do you really think the super fit girl in the commercial simply popped a pill and woke up with those six pack abs and super perky ass? NO! She worked her ass off for it in the gym and ate super clean. If it was as simple as popping a pill, we wouldn’t have an obesity problem in this country.

Please….just stop with the fad diets, popping pills that claim to block fat and help you get fit and lean without exercise. I beg you! They are unhealthy and if you do have any success, you will just end up gaining it all back, plus some when you stop following the diet or taking the pills, not to mention the damage you can be doing to your body by following these plans.

The road to getting healthy is not an easy one, but it can be a rewarding one. I’ve been at this for over three years and I’ve battled a lot of demons (thanks in part to photos like the ones above), but I’ve learned so much. How to eat healthy, that it’s okay to have a cheat day, that my body is much stronger than my mind and when my mind shuts the fuck up…my body is capable of amazing things! The most important lesson is one I’m currently working on, and that’s to love myself. I’m learning to accept the flaws of my body, because they add character.

Yes, I had a tummy tuck and some people might view that as shallow, and that’s okay, because it doesn’t matter what they think. It’s what I needed to do in order to move on with my life and to finally say goodbye to the fat girl I spent so many years of my life being.

In closing, I ask you to simply to keep realistic goals when you start trying to lose weight. Take it slow, keep it real and know that’s okay to be human and make mistakes. It takes time to break bad habits and form new, good ones. Most importantly, take the time to appreciate all of the things you achieve!

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dont compare

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{Update} 9 Months Post-Op

revisionIt’s hard to believe it’s already been 9 months since my surgery….time really flies as you’re trying to build up core strength again.

At today’s post-op visit, the surgeon said every looks great. My scar is finally starting to fade (although it still turns an awful purple color when I workout really hard), and he said that feeling will continue to return around my belly button as time goes on and that I’ll still see results until the 1 year mark.

Over the past few months, I have been very happy with my results from the procedure, however, the ends of my scar line have always bothered me. There is a slight puckering (mainly on the left side) that I am not thrilled with. The puckering is a result of where the drains were and are very common with tummy tucks. The surgeon said it is an easy fix, so I’ll be having a revision done in the next few weeks.

I’m not nervous about this at all. The procedure will only take about 45 minutes and is done in the office, with a little bit of local anesthesia. I can drive myself to and from the appointment and only need to take it easy for about 24 hours after it’s done. The other plus is that they use dissolvable stitches, so that’ll mean the post-op visit will just be to check my healing.

I apologize for the lack of updates on my post-op journey. After the initial few weeks, it was life as usual and I honestly didn’t think about it much. I definitely feel more comfortable in my own skin now. It’s nice to be able to look into the mirror and see the results of all the hard work I’ve done over the past 3 years.

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…Just Don’t Stop

How Slow You go

Over the past few weeks, I have told myself this many times while working on my running. You see, I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. When I set a goal, I get tunnel vision, and I can sometimes brutally push myself to that goal.

Now pushing in such a manner isn’t always a bad thing. If I didn’t push myself, I might still be overweight, out of shape and unhappy. If I didn’t push myself, I wouldn’t be sitting here sharing my story with you. (I know, that’s a very sad thought, right? What would you all do without my blog?!)

However, sometimes I push so hard, I forget to celebrate the small victories. I forget to be proud of the strides I have made. I forget to enjoy the journey I have pushed myself to take.

I often have to internally yell at myself while I run. I have to remind myself that the fact I laced up my sneakers, put on my running clothes and headed out in the cold to get a run done is a big win, all by itself. I need to remind my inner bully that Rome wasn’t built in a day and part of the learning process is going at a slower pace.

After over 3 years, I am still learning. I’m learning new aspects of fitness and nutrition. I’m learning just how strong I am and most importantly, I’m learning to have patience with myself.

The funny thing is, I tell people who come to me for guidance to be patient all the time. I tell them exactly what this graphic says ” It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop.” Maybe it’s time for me to start listening to myself, cause you know what? I give some really good advice.

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