Tag Archives: Health & Fitness

Lately I have been full of struggles. I struggle to finish a full workout program. I struggle to eat healthy. But most of all, I struggle to love and accept my new body.

If we let ourselves,  its easy to believe that magazine cover girls (whose photos are air-brushed) are the norm and that the rest of us are somehow deeply flawed.

What we end up with is that nagging “I hate myself” or “I hate what I see in the mirror” song playing over and over again in our heads, fueling our painful frustration.

Getting caught up in not liking yourself because of your size, can quickly start whittling away at your motivation. It becomes that inner voice that makes you feel helpless and hopeless.

One of my new goals is to break this cycle.  I need to start looking at myself as a whole and realize that I am intelligent, funny, unique, and yes, I am beautiful.

I need to stop being a perfectionist and embrace how far I have come. I need to stop comparing myself to others and realize that everyone is different. I need to learn to listen to others when they tell me how amazing I look and what an awesome person I am (I am truly no good with compliments – those of you who know me personally, know this well).

True beauty shouldn’t be about fitting into a cultural stereotype but a quality that shines from within. That doesn’t mean we should stop trying to improve ourselves, it just means that our time is better spent focusing on building a strong, healthy body and mind rather than trying to fit into a cookie-cutter mold.

– If you struggle with accepting your new body or have over come this feeling, I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below or contact me directly. –

Meet Nega Nikki.

She is the dark inner voice in my head who likes to give me a hard time and make me second guess myself.

She shows herself in fitting rooms (you look fat), during workouts (you can’t lift that heavy), while looking for food to eat (Mmmmm Poptarts!) and when I’m hitting the pavement trying to get a hang of this running thing (Why are you doing this? Just walk, it’s easier and your still moving).

She is a BITCH.

I truly hate Nega Nikki and I battle everyday to shut her up. The constant inner dialog I have with her might amuse some, but to me, it is very draining and sometimes discouraging that I have worked this hard and still have battles like this.

My goal is to rid myself of Nega Nikki once and for all. I am tired of looking in the mirror and sometimes still seeing the “fat girl” I worked hard to say goodbye to. I am tired of hearing that nagging voice of sabotage, telling me I can’t run faster or further. That inner doubt that holds me back from taking a sparring class like I really want to try.

I’m tired, frustrated and at the end of my rope with her. If you ever hear me in a funk or letting her get the best of me…please…smack me. Sometimes I don’t realize that she has gained the upper hand.

We all have our Nega Nikki’s and I believe it is up to us to shut them up. We have a choice…we can listen to their negative, venomous, self doubting thoughts and stop fighting the good fight (you know…cause we don’t have enough actual people to do that to us)…OR…we can use those thoughts to give us the strength to push and fight harder.

The choice is yours….what will you do?

I am always amazed when people tell me that I have motivated them to make changes in their lives. To me, I’m just sharing my story and documenting certain things to look back on and keep me moving forward. Then again, I find quite a few people to be motivating to me, and they are probably shocked too, as they are just doing the same.

As I sat here this morning, half asleep, sipping my coffee I realized that hearing that I have motivated someone truly motivates me more than anything. I love knowing that I am making a difference. I love knowing that there are others out there who want to take the steps I have and just need a little guidance. I love knowing that I can not only help them, but play a supporting role in their journey, because I remember what a rough and daunting road it could be.

For those of you just starting out or still nervous about taking that first step. Please, never hesitate to contact me with questions or concerns. I would love to give you the push you need, offer guidance or just play the role of cheerleader.

In order to succeed you just have to believe in yourself, keep pushing forward and know that sometimes you will fall, but you’ll get back up and be stronger for doing it.

P.S. – If you would like a place to stay accountable, I will be running a weekly check-in thread on my Facebook page. You can click the circle logo to the right to take you there, click “like” and then jump on and tell me what you’ve done each week.