Tag Archives: mindset

It’s Your Life…No One Else’s

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It’s your life…don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for living it the way you want.

Lately, I’ve seen too many people “policing” posts on Instagram and it needs to stop.

Just because the way you do something works, doesn’t mean that it is the only way to do it.

Offering advice or sharing what has worked for you is totally acceptable. Hell, I encourage it! That is how we learn about new things and you might inspire someone who is stuck on their journey to try something new or take their progress to the next level. That is how I ended up trying keto and I’m sooooo grateful for that conversation.

What is NOT acceptable is making someone feel bad about their journey or like they are doing something wrong.

I don’t believe there is really a right or wrong way to go about this. I mean yes, I have a pretty firm stance on cleanses and “quick fix diets” but that’s only because they haven’t worked in the long term for myself or any of my clients in the past.

(If you have had success with these I would LOVE to have a conversation with you about it!)

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Everyone is different. Everyone has different circumstances and everyone has different genetics. Health and Fitness is NOT one size fits all, so quit trying to make it that way.

  • If you’re keto and just count your net carbs (or if you’re strict keto) and it works for YOU….Awesome!
  • If you do Weight Watchers but don’t workout yet and it works for YOU….Awesome!
  • If you workout but eat whatever you feel like eating and it works for YOU…..Awesome!
  • If your lifestyle works for you and your family is open to joining YOU….Awesome!

If you’re doing any of the above and someone is giving you a hard time about it because it’s different from what they’re doing…give them the middle finger and walk away. You don’t need that shit in your life.

This journey is hard enough without people giving you shit because you’re not doing something exactly the way they are.

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Own Your Shit

own-your-shit

The secret to success is in your daily routine. You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily.

As I’ve said before, these changes don’t have to huge. They can be small, they can seem simple, but they have to happen and you have to build upon them in order to create that big change in your life.

-> Seriously, if you struggle in this area I highly recommend a book called The Compound Effect or The Slight Edge. Go read one of them!

This week I challenge you to pick one thing that you need to change and do it!

If you fail at getting your workouts done when you’re supposed to, I want you to set the alarm earlier and get it done before you do anything else for the day. Getting it done first will ensure that NOTHING can come up and keep you from reaching that goal.

-> Now if you hit snooze 5 times and sabotage yourself, that’s on you and you have to face yourself in the mirror and take the blame…you won’t like how that feels, trust me!

Being aware of your habits and the changes you make to them will really help you to reach your goals…actually it’s a big key to this journey.

Own your bullshit.

Do something to change it.

You’ll be happy you did!

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Find Yourself and Be That

find yourself

This is something I’ve really been working on this year.

Filtering out the noise of who you should be vs who you are, is not an easy task. It can take time to figure it all out, but when you do, you’ll be 100% you and you shouldn’t change that for anyone.

You’ll attract your tribe, find happiness within yourself and if you suffer from anxiety…well…that’ll ease up too, because you won’t be worried about others accepting you. You’ll accept yourself and all your weirdness and no one else opinion will matter anymore.

  • Try new things.
  • Go on adventures.
  • Meet new people.
  • Read new books.
  • Learn something new.

Do what inspires you and figure out what makes you happy! It’s time you live the life you were meant to live, without the fear of disappointing others.

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There Is No Perfection

perfection doesn't exist

There is no perfection on this journey. The only thing that matters is consistency.

If you focus on being perfect all the time, you will rob yourself of joy because there is no such thing as perfect…we are all perfectly imperfect.

Failure is part of the journey. It’s where you learn the most about yourself and it’s not really failure unless you stop trying.

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There is about 17 years and so much failure I can’t even count, between these photos. The reason why I have a before & after is because I never gave up!

I failed, I cried and I got mad at myself but I always kept pushing forward…and so can you!

You just have to be patient and remain focused on what your goal is.

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How to Overcome Gym Anxiety

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As many of you already know, I lost all of my weight with at-home fitness programs because of my gymphobia.

A long time ago, during one of my many attempts to lose weight, I joined one of those “women only” gyms. I figured it would be a more comfortable way to get myself active because it was only women and most of women have issues with what they see in the mirror on a daily basis.

What I forgot was that women can be nasty and vicious.

One day while I was on the treadmill at the gym, I overheard a group of women making fun of my size. I instantly became embarrassed and couldn’t wait to get out of there. I never went back again, even though I still had to pay my monthly fees.

I allowed them to control my life and I regret that.

It took me 16 years to get over that moment. That’s crazy when I sit here and think back on it and it’s something I don’t want anyone else to do.

First off, some people just suck. They can be small minded and so insecure about themselves, that they need to belittle everyone around them so they can feel better about themselves. It’s not you that has the problem…it’s them. Remember that.

If you’re in the gym looking to improve yourself and someone makes fun of you instead of giving you credit for getting started, they are not a good person and karma will eventually bite them in the ass.

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Walking into the gym when you’re not used to going is intimidating enough without small minded people like that. Between worrying that you might not know how to use the equipment properly, to worrying about your gym clothes or if you’re breathing too heavy while climbing 9 million steps on the stair master, the last thing we need is their shit.

But enough of my rambling…here are some tips that can help you get over the gym anxiety, so you can be the best version of you that you can be!

  1. When you first join the gym, find a gym partner – Preferably someone who has been going for awhile and feels confident in the gym. They can help you with the equipment and to feel more at ease your first few times going. Don’t have someone? Many gyms will give you a full tour and set you up with a trainer to show you how to properly use the machines for free. There are many YouTube videos that show you how to use machines. Take some time to plan out what you’d like to do and then do your research!
  2. Try to visit the gym at off peak times – If you’re worried about being judged for how you look or not knowing how to use the equipment, going at an off peak time can truly help, since there will be less people there. Usually the gym is busiest in the early morning and right after work. Don’t be afraid to ask the front desk person at your gym when the quieter times are!
  3. Don’t let fear or self consciousness stop you from going – For the most part, it’s all in our heads and those “mean girls” I dealt with are not the norm. Most people at the gym are zoned out what they are doing. They are lost in their music, thinking about all of the things they have to do that day and believe it or not, they may even be worried about being judged.
  4. It’s okay to skip the classes and just do your own thing – I have never been a class person because I find how “easily” some people get the steps to be intimidating. They give me major anxiety. “What if I step left when I’m supposed to go right?! Everyone is going to laugh at me and I will never be able to show my face in the gym again!” If walking into the gym gives you anxiety, why make it worse by adding more anxiety with a class? It’s okay to skip them. Trust me…I joined Planet Fitness because they don’t offer classes.
  5. Set clear goals that you can achieve – Don’t start out with a goal of hitting the gym 7 days a week for an hour a day when you first start out. Aim for 3 days a week for 30 mins. It’s much more reasonable, gives you time to rest between workouts (trust me, you will be sore) and it will help you to build confidence.
  6. Don’t compare yourself to others – I preach this about social media and I’ll preach it about the gym. You can NOT compare your chapter 1 to someones chapter 30. You are not them and they are not you. They may be comfortable and confident lifting heavy weight with all the dudes, but once upon a time they were an anxiety filled newbie too. Just stayed focused on yourself! You’ll be happier that way.
  7. When you feel frustrated or like giving up, remember your goals – As a trainer we have you set goals for a reason. It’s so when you’re feeling like a failure, you can refer back to them, remember why you set them and refocus. There is no such thing as failure if you keep dusting yourself off and trying again. (See Be Stubborn, Yet Flexible)
  8. Block out the noise with headphones – Getting lost in a good, motivating playlist is what I do when I’m at the gym. I channel all of my energy into the workout and fuel that workout with the music I choose. (I listen to a lot of 90’s hip hop, Eminem and Linkin Park when I lift) Doing this also helps to drown out the chatter and keep the focus off of what others around you are doing.
  9. When in doubt, ask someone – I know… I know… asking someone is proof that you don’t what you are doing, but it’s okay. When I first started at the gym I had a gym partner, but they stopped coming at one point and I wanted to change up my workouts. There was equipment I wasn’t familiar with, so I simply asked a fellow gym goer if they could show me how to use it. Did I want to throw-up as I approached them to ask? Yup…but it honestly wasn’t that bad and I ended up making a new acquaintance at the gym. Score!
  10. Be proud of yourself – No matter how nervous you feel. No matter silly you may think you look. BE PROUD. You walked through those doors, you signed up, you did your workout and maybe you tried new things. There is ALWAYS something to be proud of… even on the days when your workout sucks and you hated every second of it.

Still feeling uneasy or unsure after reading all of this? Shoot me a message and let’s chat! I’ll do my best to help you overcome your fears…heck if you’re local to me, I’ll even go workout with you!

 

 

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The Struggle Is Real, Yo!

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Struggling is part of life.

It’s something we need to accept and be okay with. Over the last 8 years I have struggled A LOT!

I struggled to finally make the decision to do something about my weight.

I struggled with how that decision changed many relationships in my life (both with food and people.)

I struggled with feeling bad every time I ate something “bad” or skipping a workout.

I struggled with the decision to have excess skin removed from my belly after losing over 100 lbs and maintaining it for over a year.

I struggled when I lost all of my motivation last year and gained back 25 lbs. Feelings of failure and fear took over and left me paralyzed for a long time.

I struggled with the decision to join the gym after having a bad experience while overweight at one. I also struggled to go alone when my gym partner stopped going because I allowed self doubt to take over.

Struggling means there is a lesson to learn and it’s time for us to grow.

Struggling is okay. Giving up is not.

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Don’t Listen To The Naysayers

IMG_1286Don’t listen to people who say weight loss doesn’t last…because it does…but YOU have to put in the work.

There are no quick fixes or magic pills. Only hard work and dedication. You can’t eat well and exercise until you reach your goal and then go back to eating crap and never leaving the couch. (Trust me…I’ve attempted it…it doesn’t work. Sorry.)

It has to become a lifestyle!

The photos above are 16 years apart! The one on the left was a few months after I gave birth to my daughter, and years before I decided to do something about my weight. The photo on the right was taken recently, about 8 years after I decided I had enough of being overweight and hating the reflection in the mirror.

This progress wasn’t easy.

There were a lot of ups and downs (emotionally and on the scale) but I realized that I couldn’t have my shitty habits AND maintain the weight I was happy at.

As I’ve recently shared, these last 1.5 yrs were not easy and I lost focus. I gained back 25lbs and felt like crap, but I regained my focus and feel soooooo much better now.

It’s never too later to make a change. Just remember that this change can’t be short term. It needs to be a total mindset change. It isn’t easy to do, but holy fuck is it worth it!

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Why Are You Waiting?

just go for it
Everyone wants to get into better shape and eat healthier. I see posts all the time about it being a new month…new week…. and what not. But I have a question for you…

Why wait until then?

If being healthier and getting into better shape is something you really want to do, why not start right now?

Why wait for a Monday, or a new month or even a new year…when EVERYONE joins the gym and it’s super crowded? Why not join now and get comfortable with it while it’s empty?

Why wait to start eating healthier?

Do we really need to eat every food offered to use at BBQ’s or parties? Or drink ALL of the alcohol?

Why don’t you start practicing balance with food now? Say no to the things you REALLY don’t enjoy and allow the things you do, but without stuffing yourself to the point of regret.

I was the girl who set the resolution EVERY DAMN YEAR to lose the weight and get my shit together, but I failed EVERY DAMN YEAR because I felt I had to be perfect with my “diet”. Check out Monday’s post Be Stubborn, Yet Flexible for my thoughts on this.

Making the decision to change your habits now can really be a deciding factor for if you stick with them for the long haul.

Being healthy isn’t about deprivation, it’s about balance. It’s about making time to take care of yourself and ensuring it’s priority. Perfection is NOT part of the process…if you think it is, you need to change that mentality now!

There are going to be good days and bad days. Good weeks and bad weeks. You’re going to want to give up but you can’t… you have to believe in yourself and know that YOU ARE WORTH IT.

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Life gets hectic and we get pulled in many directions at once, but we can’t pour from an empty cup! Being a healthy version of yourself shouldn’t have to wait until a new week, new month or even a new year…so why are you really waiting?

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Intention vs Motivation

 

Get Fit With Nikki - Before & After

I’m by no means full of myself, but when it comes to weight loss, I like to think I know a thing or two about it.

Back in late 2009 I started my fitness journey and when I did, I had no idea that by 2010, I would be celebrating a 100+ lb loss. I also REALLY had no idea that I would keep that weight off until today.

You see, all of my attempts before weren’t successful. I tried all of the fad shakes, teas, weight loss programs, women’s gyms…you name it. But shortly after starting, I’d always find a way to stop and lose “motivation”.

It wasn’t until I changed how I looked at things that I saw REAL change.

Intention vs Motivation is what it came down to for me.
Intention
When I sat around waiting to be motivated, I left my fate up to an outside force.

We’re all guilty of turning to Pinterest for some motivational quotes to fire us up. Or maybe you log on to Instagram for some motivation but end up feeling bad about yourself and your progress after scrolling through everyone else’s posts (Comparison is the thief of joy and needs to be it’s own post.)

It wasn’t until I intentionally began to schedule my workouts and meal prep, that I stuck to it.

Once I made the things that would get me to my goal a non-negotiable, a positive shift began to happen. At first it seemed like a punishment, but after a little time, I began to look forward to it. The workout and the meal prep was my time… it was self care, things that I did to take care of myself and you know what?! ….making yourself a priority is a good thing, people!

We schedule things like doctor appointments, play dates, volunteering at our kids schools and lunch/dinner with friends, so why shouldn’t we schedule workouts and meal prep for ourselves?

Would you cancel any of the above things last minute, because you just wanted to sit on the couch and watch Netflix? I’m going to assume the answer to that is no, but I know you should never assume anything.

Anyway…what I have found to be the key with this healthy living stuff is NOT motivation, but rather INTENTION… because intention puts all of the power in your hands. It puts you in full control of the outcome because you’re not relying on an outside force to motivate you into action.

Basically it means you have to own your shit, there is no blaming anyone or anything else when you live with intention. That’s not an easy pill to swallow, but if you’re looking for a magic pill with this weight loss stuff…this is the one you need.

See how powerful that shift in mindset can be?! Crazy right?

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